20250618 [새벽묵상] 침묵의 깊은 밤을 지날 때에 | When Passing Through the Deep Night of Silence (시/Ps 77:1~9)

77:1 내가 내 음성으로 하나님께 부르짖으리니 내 음성으로 하나님께 부르짖으면 내게 귀를 기울이시리로다

77:2 나의 환난 날에 내가 주를 찾았으며 밤에는 내 손을 들고 거두지 아니하였나니 내 영혼이 위로 받기를 거절하였도다

1 I cried out to God for help;

    I cried out to God to hear me.

2 When I was in distress, I sought the Lord;

    at night I stretched out untiring hands,

    and I would not be comforted.

77:3 내가 하나님을 기억하고 불안하여 근심하니 내 심령이 상하도다 (셀라)

77:4 주께서 내가 눈을 붙이지 못하게 하시니 내가 괴로워 말할 수 없나이다 

77:5 내가 옛날 곧 지나간 세월을 생각하였사오며

77:6 밤에 부른 노래를 내가 기억하여 내 심령으로, 내가 내 마음으로 간구하기를

3 I remembered you, God, and I groaned;

    I meditated, and my spirit grew faint.

4 You kept my eyes from closing;

    I was too troubled to speak.

5 I thought about the former days,

    the years of long ago;

6 I remembered my songs in the night.

    My heart meditated and my spirit asked:

77:7 주께서 영원히 버리실까, 다시는 은혜를 베풀지 아니하실까,

77:8 그의 인자하심은 영원히 끝났는가, 그의 약속하심도 영구히 폐하였는가,

77:9 하나님이 그가 베푸실 은혜를 잊으셨는가, 노하심으로 그가 베푸실 긍휼을 그치셨는가 하였나이다 (셀라)

7 “Will the Lord reject forever?

    Will he never show his favor again?

8 Has his unfailing love vanished forever?

    Has his promise failed for all time?

9 Has God forgotten to be merciful?

    Has he in anger withheld his compassion?”

                  제가 최근에 유튜브 쇼츠를 봤던 것 중에 기억에 남는 것이 있습니다. ‘우리 아이가 달라졌어요,’ ‘금쪽같은 내 새끼,’ 등의 육아 프로그램으로 유명한 아동 전문가이며 정신건강의학과 전문의인 오은영 박사가 했던 말인데요. ‘우리 인생은 아무리 열심히 살아도 좌절이 옵니다. 아무리 최선을 다해도 결과가 늘 좋은 건 아닙니다. 우리가 피할 수 없는 좌절과 고통과 어려움과 후회와 마음의 힘듦, 쉽게 극복이 될까요? 저는 그렇지 않다고 봅니다. 그냥 겪어야죠. 겪는 과정? 힘들어요. 끝이 날까요? 납니다. 그냥 그 과정을 겪어가는 겁니다.’ 오은영 박사는 우리의 삶에 다가오는 고난에 대해서 이렇게 이야기 하고 있습니다. 그런데 저는 우리의 신앙생활 또한 비슷한 부분이 있는 것 같다는 생각이 들었습니다. 우리가 열심히 신앙 생활하고 말씀 보고 기도하고 헌금 생활해도 우리에게 밤이 찾아올 때가 있습니다. 그래서 하나님을 찾고 기도하고 부르짖는데도 하나님께서 침묵하시는 것 같은 때가 있습니다. 밤은 깊어가는데 내 마음은 괴로워 잠에 들지 못하는 그 괴로운 시간. 오늘 시편의 기자는 바로 그런 심정을 이야기 하고 있습니다. 환난이 닥쳐서 주님을 찾는데도 하나님이 멀리 계신 것 같이 느껴지는 그런 밤. 오늘은 침묵의 깊은 밤을 지날 때에 라는 제목으로 말씀을 전하기 원합니다.

I recently watched a YouTube Short that stuck with me. It was a quote from Dr. Oh Eun-young, a child expert and psychiatrist famous for parenting programs like 'Our Child Has Changed' and 'My Precious Little One.' She said, "No matter how hard we live, our lives bring discouragement. No matter how much we do our best, the results aren't always good. Can we easily overcome the unavoidable discouragement, pain, difficulties, regret, and emotional hardship? I don't think so. We just have to go through it. The process of going through it? It's hard. Will it end? Yes, it will. We just go through the process." Dr. Oh Eun-young speaks about the hardships that come into our lives this way.

And it made me think that our faith journey often has similar aspects. Even when we're diligently living our faith, reading the Bible, praying, and giving offerings, there are times when night falls upon us. We seek God, pray, and cry out, yet it feels like God is silent. That agonizing time when the night deepens, and our hearts are so troubled we can't sleep. Today's Psalmist is expressing just such a feeling. A night when trouble strikes, and even as we seek the Lord, God feels far away. Today, I want to share a message titled "When Passing Through the Deep Night of Silence."

                  첫번째, 오늘 시편의 화자는 환난의 날에 하나님께 부르짖습니다. 1절입니다. 함께 읽겠습니다. “내가 내 음성으로 하나님께 부르짖으리니 내 음성으로 하나님께 부르짖으면 내게 귀를 기울이시리로다.” 내 음성으로 하나님께 부르짖는다는 표현이 반복해서 나오고 있습니다. 조용히 읊조리며 기도하는 것이 아닙니다. 이 표현은 ‘내 절규 소리로’라는 매우 강렬한 뉘앙스를 나타내는 것입니다. 그리고 그렇게 간절히 부르짖으면 하나님께서 내게 귀를 기울이실 것이라고 말하고 있습니다. 그것이 시인이 이해한 하나님의 성품입니다. 하지만 그가 스스로에게 이런 말을 해야하는 것은 바로 지금 그의 상황이 그렇지 못하기 때문입니다. 2절을 보겠습니다. 시인이 현재 처한 상황을 알 수 있습니다. 그는 환난에 처했습니다. 그에게 밤이 찾아왔습니다. 그러나 그 환난의 날에 그는 사람의 위로를 거절하고 오직 하나님만을 찾습니다. 하나님을 찾는 그의 손은 밤이 지나도록 내려가지 않습니다. 3절에서 그는 이렇게 고백합니다. “내가 하나님을 기억하고 불안하여 근심하니 내 심령이 상하도다” 그가 하나님을 기억했을때에 그는 위로를 받은 것이 아니라 불안하였다고 합니다. 그가 묵상하였을 때에 그의 심령이 상하였다고 합니다. 하나님을 기억할수록 그 괴로움이 더욱 깊어져만 간다고 합니다. 왜 입니까? 이는 시인이 하나님께서 과거에 주셨던 은혜들을 기억함에도 불구하고 현재의 고통이 너무 커서 오히려 더 큰 고뇌에 빠지게 되었기 때문입니다. 이 말씀은 1절과도 연결됩니다. 분명히 내가 경험하고, 알고, 믿는 하나님은 환난의 때에 나의 부르짖음에 귀를 기울이시는 분이신데 지금 하나님은 내가 이렇게 찾고 있는데도 도대체 어디 계신 것인지 아무런 말씀이 없으십니다. 우리도 이럴 때가 있습니다. 고통 속에서 사람이 아닌 오직 하나님만을 의지하며 매달리는데도 하나님께서 나의 부르짖음을 듣지 않으시는 것 같을 때가 있습니다. 그래서 끊임없이 내 마음을 다그쳐 내가 알고 있는 하나님을 스스로에게 다시 되뇌이지만 오히려 그럴수록 마음이 괴롭고 머리속에 의문만 드는 때가 있습니다. 오늘 시편의 기자도 마찬가지입니다. 그도 마음이 괴로워 잠에 들지 못하고 끊임없는 의문 속으로 빠져듭니다.

1. In the Night of Trouble, Crying Out to a Seemingly Silent God

First, today's Psalmist cries out to God in his day of trouble. Let's read verse 1 together: "I cried out to God with my voice— to God with my voice; and He gave ear to me." The phrase "cried out to God with my voice" is repeated. This isn't a quiet murmuring prayer. This phrase implies a very intense nuance, like 'with my desperate wail.' And he says that if he cries out so earnestly, God will listen to him. That is the nature of God as the psalmist understood Him. But the very fact that he has to say these words to himself indicates that his current situation is not like that at all.

Let's look at verse 2. We can see the psalmist's current predicament. He is in trouble. Night has fallen upon him. Yet, in that day of trouble, he refuses human comfort and seeks only God. His hands, lifted in search of God, remain outstretched through the night. In verse 3, he confesses, "I remembered God, and was troubled; I complained, and my spirit was overwhelmed." When he remembered God, he wasn't comforted; instead, he was troubled. When he meditated, his spirit was overwhelmed. It's as if the more he remembers God, the deeper his distress becomes. Why? Because even though the psalmist recalls the grace God showed in the past, his current suffering is so immense that it plunges him into even greater agony. This connects with verse 1 as well. The God he has experienced, known, and believed in is surely one who inclines His ear to his cries in times of trouble. Yet now, when he seeks God so earnestly, where is God? There is no word from Him.

We experience this too. There are times when, amidst suffering, we rely solely on God and cling to Him, yet it feels as if God isn't hearing our cries. So we relentlessly urge our hearts to recall the God we know, but the more we do, the more troubled our hearts become, and only questions fill our minds. Today's Psalmist is no different. He is so distressed that he cannot sleep and is plunged into endless questioning.

                  두번째, 오늘 시편의 화자는 괴로움 가운데 하나님과 씨름합니다. 4절을 함께 읽겠습니다. “주께서 내가 눈을 붙이지 못하게 하시니 내가 괴로워 말할 수 없나이다.” 얼마나 괴로운지 내가 잠들지 못하는 것이 다 하나님 탓 같습니다. 시편 127:2에 “여호와께서 그 사랑하시는 자에게 잠을 주시는도다”라고 하셨는데 나는 괴로워 잠도 오지 않습니다. 그 뿐 만이 아닙니다. 불면증만해도 힘이 드는데 하나님께 부르짖으려해도 이제는 내 입술에서 기도조차 나오질 않습니다. 여러분 이럴 때 있지 않으십니까? 마음이 너무 괴로워서 제대로 잠들지 못하고 밤새 뒤척이다 새벽기도에 나아왔는데 그마저도 입술이 막혀버린듯 기도가 나오지 않는 그 답답함. 오늘 시편의 기자가 바로 그렇습니다. 기도조차 막혀버린 그는 5절에서 옛날, 오래전 일을 생각합니다. 6절, 밤에 부른 노래, 즉 예전의 환난 가운데 하나님께 불렀던 찬양을 기억합니다. 내 마음으로 깊이 묵상하고 내 영으로 곰곰히 생각합니다. 이것은 그의 영적인 몸부림입니다. 할 수 없는 가운데서 어떻게든 할 수 있는 것을 찾아 이 침묵의 깊은 밤 속에서 하나님과 씨름하고 있습니다. 7절에서 9절은 그가 기억할 수록, 묵상할 수록, 생각할 수록 떨쳐버릴 수 없는 의문과 질문들로 가득차 있습니다. “주께서 영원히 버리실까?” “다시는 은혜를 베풀지 아니하실까?” “그의 인자하심은 영원히 끝났는가?” “그의 약속하심도 영구히 폐하였는가?” “하나님이 그가 베푸실 은혜를 잊으셨는가?” “노하심으로 그가 베푸실 긍휼을 그치셨는가?” 바로 이것이 오늘 시인이 느끼는 심정입니다. 침묵하시는 하나님 앞에서 터져나오는 질문들. 하나님의 성품과 신실하심에 대한 불안함과 의심이 그를 온통 뒤흔들어 놓습니다. 그러나 이 질문들은 또한 역설적으로 하나님께서 그런 분이 아니라는 것을 스스로에게 반문하는 질문이기도 합니다. 우리는 이 질문들에서 강조하고 있는 것을 보아야 합니다. “영원히 버리실까? 다시는 은혜를 베풀지 아니하실까? 영원히 끝났는가? 영구히 폐하였는가?” 영원히, 다시는, 영구히, 이 강조의 표현들은 오히려 반드시 하나님께서 은혜를 베푸실 것이며 강한 팔로 나를 구하실 것이며 언약의 약속을 지키실 것임을 스스로에게 끊임없이 확신시키고 있는 것입니다.

2. In the Night of Despair, Wrestling with God

Second, today's Psalmist wrestles with God in his distress. Let's read verse 4 together: "You hold my eyelids open; I am so troubled that I cannot speak." He is so distressed that it feels as if his inability to sleep is all God's doing. Psalm 127:2 says, "For so He gives His beloved sleep," but he is so troubled that sleep won't come. Not only that, but even with insomnia being difficult enough, now when he tries to cry out to God, it feels as though prayer won't even leave his lips.

Have you ever felt this way? Your heart is so troubled that you can't truly sleep, tossing and turning all night, only to come to early morning prayer, and even then, your lips feel sealed, and no prayer comes out. That's exactly how today's Psalmist feels. His prayer is even blocked. In verse 5, he remembers "the days of old, and the years of ancient times." In verse 6, he remembers his song in the night—that is, the praise he offered to God during past troubles. He meditates deeply in his heart and ponders thoroughly in his spirit. This is his spiritual struggle. Amidst his inability, he finds what he can do and wrestles with God in this deep night of silence.

Verses 7-9 are filled with questions and doubts that he cannot shake off the more he remembers, meditates, and ponders: "Will the Lord cast off forever? And will He be favorable no more? Has His mercy ceased forever? Has His promise failed forevermore? Has God forgotten to be gracious? Has He1 in anger shut up His tender mercies?"2 This is exactly what the psalmist feels today. Questions bursting forth in the face of a silent God. Anxiety and doubt about God's character and faithfulness completely overwhelm him.

However, these questions are also, paradoxically, questions by which he reaffirms to himself that God is not such a person. We must see what is emphasized in these questions: "Forever cast off? No more gracious? Ceased forever? Failed forevermore?" These emphatic expressions – "forever," "no more," "forevermore" – are rather him continually reassuring himself that God will certainly show grace, that He will save him with His strong arm, and that He will keep His covenant promise.

                  말씀을 맺습니다. 우리는 신앙생활을 하다보면 누구나 침묵의 깊은 밤을 지날 때가 있습니다. 하나님께 부르짖어도 하나님의 마음이 괴로워 뜬 눈으로 밤을 지새고, 기도를 하려고 하나님 앞에 무릎을 꿇어도 기도가 나오지 않는 그런 밤 말입니다. 오늘 시편의 화자는 그런 고통 속에서 하나님과 씨름합니다. 어쩌면 그런 어려움 가운데에서 우리가 할 수 있는 것은 그저 이 깊은 밤이 지나가기를 기다리는 것일지도 모르겠습니다. 왜냐하면 오늘 시편의 화자가 말한 것처럼 하나님은 우리를 영원히 버려두지 않으시기 때문입니다. 이 밤은 영원한 것이 아니기 때문입니다. 새벽은 반드시 찾아옵니다. 그가 베푸실 은혜와 긍휼은 밤이 가장 깊은 때에 가장 가까운 것인 줄을 믿습니다. 함께 기도하시겠습니다.

Conclusion

To conclude, we all experience passing through a deep night of silence in our faith journey. A night when we cry out to God, but our hearts are so troubled we stay awake with open eyes, and even when we kneel before God to pray, no words come out. Today's Psalmist wrestles with God in such distress. Perhaps in such difficulties, all we can do is wait for this deep night to pass. Because, as today's Psalmist implies, God will not abandon us forever. This night is not eternal. The dawn will surely break. I believe that His grace and compassion are closest when the night is at its deepest.

Let's pray together.